


Like Real People Do

by CorvidFightClub



Category: Captain America (Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: F/M, M/M, tw possible body horror
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 17:15:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5674165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorvidFightClub/pseuds/CorvidFightClub
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I will not ask you where you came from<br/>I will not ask and neither should you</p>
<p>Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips<br/>We should just kiss like real people do."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Real People Do

**Author's Note:**

> Some time after the events of the CA: WS movie. Shhhh don't ask about timelines, just pretend the whole Ultron thing didn't happen. 
> 
> Big thanks to Bacta for betaing since I don't trust my fanfic skills anymore. She's my favorite.

_Bzzt._

 

_Bzzzzt._

 

_Bzzzzzzzzt._

 

Tony opened the eye that wasn’t mushed into the couch cushion. His phone was buzzing itself in a sad circle on the coffee table like a lame turtle.

 

Could be Pepper, he thought to himself. Not convincing enough for him to pick it up, though. That call had a two percent chance of being Pepper, a thirty percent chance of being a telemarketer, and a sixty-eight percent chance to being an Avengers thing. Tony closed his eye and rubbed his cheek on the scratchy material of the couch cushion. He was tucked away in the small, private room with a big screen TV, a sagging couch, and a mini-fridge packed with shitty beer. An empty pizza box lay on the floor midst the growing forest of empty bottles. Two more sat on the scarred coffee table, half finished.

 

Pepper would’ve crossed her arms, pursed her lips. “What are you, twelve?”

 

“A sophisticated fifteen. Give me that at least,” he would’ve responded.

 

The phone went silent. Tony relaxed, off the hook. He’d look at the number later and decide how bad he wanted to burn whatever company was trying to sell him windows.

 

_Bzzt._

 

Tony squinted at his phone. “No,” he said.

 

_Bzzt bzzt_. Defiant to the end.

 

Sighing, Tony buried his face in the couch and fumbled on the table for his phone with one hand. He clicked on the power button and was immediately grateful when the screen dimmed automatically. One missed call from Cap. One text from Cap. Tony swiped away the call. No voicemail, no callbacks; those were the rules. He stared at the text. Stars and Stripes normally didn’t text the team, and when he did, it was a group message. Tony didn’t see any other names on this one. Suspicious, he opened the text.

 

**Cap:** _Tony,_

 

_I need a favor. Let me know when you’re available._

 

_Thanks,_

_Steve Rogers_

 

That was the other thing about Steve. Perfect grammar, perfect syntax, even in text messages.

 

**Me:** _what kinda flavor?_

**Me:** _*favor_

 

Tony considered making a small auto-correct robot specifically so he could kick it across the room. He was about to put the phone down when it buzzed in his hand with a reply.

 

**Cap:** _Tony,_

 

_A personal favor. I don’t want to trust anybody else with this._

 

_Thanks,_

_Steve Rogers_

 

Eyebrows raised, Tony typed back.

 

**Me:** _oh? do I have to put on pants?_

 

**Cap** : _Tony,_

 

_I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that. How soon can you be in the workshop?_

 

_Ps. I heard Pepper left. I’m sorry._

 

Tony rolled his eyes and dropped his head back. Steve couldn’t be described as a person gentle with feelings. Still… Steve also wasn’t someone who asked favors very often, least of all from Tony.

 

**Me:** _give me an hour. bring starbucks._


End file.
